Cinco de Gato Especial
Friends For Life
Hola! Cricket here to announce a Cinco De Gato special here at Friends For Life or as I like to call it, “Adopt these freaking kittens, they are driving me nuts.”
Starting May 3rd and through May 11th, all kittens are $5! Yep, you read right! Sure you could go get a sub for $5 but then what do you have? You have extra carbs and nothing to show for it later. Spend that same $5 for a kitten and you get (and it pains me to say this) cuteness, playfulness and fun.
You will also get a lifetime of companionship and if you do it right, this kitten will one day become that most priceless of all things...a senior cat.
Kittens, or as I like to call them, an ID with feet (look it up) have poor impulse control and find you, their human the most interesting thing in the universe…until someone drops a pen cap.
My favorite stupid thing kittens say: “Hey, is this the edge of the...”
They have to learn everything and you get to teach them. They already get the litterbox thing because, hello, we haven’t been evolving as a species longer than you for nothing. But they will learn whether to like watching Dexter, walking on a leash, chasing a ball or power napping. Right now, you can give them a paper bag and be their ultimate super hero. Simple. So very simple.
They have two speeds: high and off. Don’t be surprised if in a mad dash to check out the ceiling fan shadow they just fall asleep in the middle of the floor.
Here’s my special gift to you...an inside scoop (and my favorite thing about them). Two words: object permanence. This means that if they can’t see it, it doesn’t exist for them. Why is this fun? It is best if you have another cat or get two kittens. Watch for it. There will be that moment when one is on one side of a door, coffee table, cardboard box or cat tree and the other is on the opposite side. The Double Startle Puff Up Response is when both clueless kittens discover each other and jump straight up in the air like they were launched.
Even better is the Older Cat I’m Totally Screwing With You, Kitten maneuver in which your older cat will lie in wait (having object permanence is swell) and spring out on the hapless little embryo! Hilarious! There is spitting, leaping, puffing and if you are lucky, sideways walking. I’m cracking up just thinking of it. Send me video.
So get out your $5 and get in to Friends For Life and adopt a kitten. Do it for me, your Cricket.
And a picture of me looking at a kitten. Can you feel how much I really need you guys to adopt them?
All About Cricket
Cricket is a sassy senior cat who currently resides in (rules over) the Friends For Life senior room. She once hijacked a laptop and mounted a FFL Facebook takeover for 72 hours posting about the virtues of senior cats. Cricket is the official Friends For Life spokescat and has moments she may actually channel Dorothy Parker (if Dorothy Parker had used the spray paint tool on a stolen laptop).
“Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.” ― Anne Lamott
We have had some high level negotiations and here's the deal. I cannot confirm or deny that there was tuna involved in my agreeing to relinquish the laptop. Also negotiated in return for giving up the laptop, I have the right to post on the FFL blog whenever I want. I may even invite guest writers at my discretion. In the mean time, you all know where to find me...right here in the Senior Room running things.
Top reasons to adopt a Senior Cat:
- 1. I'm one.
- 2. We get you.
- 3. Kittens are idiots.
- 4. You want to skip your sit ups tonight? Great. Me too.
- 5. Don't be a wimp. Ofcourse we are all going to die eventually. Turn on some Tori Amos and get over yourself.
- 6. You will not ever have to play with one of those feather on a stick things. And do not even pretend any human likes that for more than 4 seconds.
- 7. We will never mispronounce Idina Menzel's name.
- 8. We understand social cues. Lights out means we go to sleep not run around the house like a wild boar on meth. Yea, I'm talkin' to you, kittens.